Originally published in the Napa Valley Register

To grasp and manage complex ideas, humans make categories and classifications. However, the biological world we live in rarely supports a clean world of categories. Farming is a complex system of dynamic interactions between insects, animals, microbes, nutrients, soil, weather, plants and, of course, humans.

One classification that humans have placed on agriculture is organic versus conventional. But confining farming to a dichotomy ignores many nuances.

Sun Tracker Farm, which I own with my husband, Robert, is a small organic farm in Northern California. Like many new farmers in California, we use organic practices to meet the growing demand for produce that is not harmful to humans or the environment. Frankly, Robert and I do not care about our farm being certified organic. We care about using regenerative and sustainable farming practices.

Our land’s resources are finite, and farming practices must change to reverse the effects of climate change and ensure a healthy environment that supports a diversity of organisms.

The truth is, organic agriculture does not address issues of sustainability, regenerative land practices or resource management. It doesn’t address whether humans take more from the land than they return. Organic farms can still depend on organic fertilizers rather than soil health to provide plant nutrition. Organic farmers can still use organic pesticides to eradicate pest problems.

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Recently, Robert and I faced an upfront and personal dilemma between the requirements of being organic or staying true to our ideals. An unforeseen pest attacked our entire farm, and within a week our production slowed to a trickle.

As we walked through rows of dying plants and fruit that did not ripen, we considered using organic pesticides to halt the damage and salvage our season. We went so far as to determine which pesticide we would spray on the whole farm.

But the day before we planned to spray, we harvested tomatoes. As we walked through hundreds of spider webs in our tomato corridors, we decided that the lives of all the insects on our beautiful farm were worth a second consideration. After much number-crunching and reorganizing our planting plan, we decided to instead mow and isolate our crops and use a much less effective essential oil-based spray to slow down our pest problem.

Had we sprayed our farm with a pesticide cocktail, we would still have qualified as organic. And this dilemma is certainly not rare in farming. I completely understand and support the farmers who decide to use pesticides. Our society provides no safety net for farmers, and if your livelihood, and that of your employees, is at stake, you don’t have much choice. Robert and I could afford to make the decision we made, but we understand the financial pressures other farmers face and the decisions they are strong-armed into making to survive until next year.

If consumers truly want to change the food system, they cannot oversimplify farming. Buying organic produce does not equate to environmental and social awareness. The picture is much more complex, and solutions require a public much more aware of the nuances in sustainable farming. We need a food system that supports farmers who farm by their ideals, not by the book and the dollar, if we hope to regenerate our land and environment.

As Robert mowed through thousands of dollars’ worth of melons, a praying mantis landed on his knee. For now, we take that as a good omen for our decision and hope the future of farming makes it easier for us and other farmers to farm sustainably.

Whenever I need a bit of comfort, I try to replicate one of the many impossible-to-replicate recipes from my French grandmother. She never wrote anything down, and I never follow recipes anyway, but to the best of my knowledge, here is her absolutely delicious purée soufflé.

Potato Purée Soufflé

Serves 4 to 5

2 pounds non-waxy potatoes (German Butterball, Yukon Gold, Russet, Kennebec)

2 cups milk

¼ cup crème fraiche

6 eggs, separated

1 cup shredded Emmental or Gruyère cheese

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Butter a baking dish approximately 15 x 10 x 2 inches. Boil the potatoes in salted water until tender when pierced with a knife. Drain and peel half of them. Mash them or rice them if you have a ricer. Mix in the milk and crème fraiche.

Add the egg yolks to the potato mixture and mix well. The consistency should be almost liquid. Add more milk if needed. Mix in 2/3 cup of the cheese and salt and pepper to taste.

Beat the egg whites to firm peaks. Gently mix half the egg whites into the potato mixture, then fold in the remainder. Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish and top with the remaining cheese.

Bake until fluffy and brown on top, about 45 minutes. Serve immediately as a side dish for meat or other vegetables.